17. AN ENTERTAINING EVENING

Two things lend most charm to a delightful evening, and one is the thoughtful preparations of the hostess for the enjoyment of her guests, and the other is their courteous and appreciative participation in these pleasures.

In planning a joyous evening amusement should be provided for all and it is customary to have several tables arranged in one of the smaller rooms where cards or games may be played by those not dancing.

A variety of dances and music will add much to the gaiety of the affair, and the hostess may consult with the director of the orchestra, as the generation of to-day seem so devoted to the monotony of one or two favorites. The music should commence playing at the hour mentioned in the invitation so that the first guest may be welcomed, as the first arrival always feels a trifle forlorn. An excellent way to break the ice of conventional conversation is to commence with the Paul Jones. The changes of this dance, in which all take part, establishes a friendly atmosphere at once and whenever the affair appears dull the Paul Jones may again be danced, for it brings in many figures which break up into the round dances or dances for couples, who reunite for other figures. The Basket, the Arbor, the Scissors and other Cotillion figures are introduced with great success into the Paul Jones, but a leader is required to direct the figures. The Grand Chain alone may be used to open the evening's pleasure and the Paul Jones reserved until later.

Before supper the Grand March may be used, the host and hostess, and the sons and daughters of the house making it a point that all the guests have partners for the march and for the supper. More often the supper is announced informally and the guests stroll out in couples so that two or three ladies may go together, yet even with this arranged it is the duty of those entertaining to introduce partners and do all they can to render the guest at ease. If there are any guests of distinction present the host escorts the lady and his wife is escorted by the man of importance.

The Cotillion is usually given after supper and the hour for supper advanced so that there are only a few dances before the event of the evening. It will be new to many and as it serves to keep everyone dancing and prevents the forming of little circles, as distressing to the hostess as to the isolated guests it will be welcomed as a novelty by many. It also offers a most delightful spectacle to the elderly guests who do not dance.

At the end of the evening if the Cotillion is not danced the old favorite Virginia Reel will tempt all to the floor and make a jolly happy ending to an enjoyable evening. Where the dance is most informal and the music is supplied by the Victrola, "Going to Jerusalem" and other dancing games may be introduced. The cutting in on dances is very universal in the large cities and offers an opportunity for many men to dance with a very popular girl in preference to one man absorbing so much of her time, especially since so many of the dances are encored and so there are fewer in the evening. This cutting in is described under Memphis Tapping on page 140.

At any dance other than a public affair the hostess or patronesses, even if it is a subscription dance, should be near the entrance door of the ball room and should be addressed on entering. If a large affair it is not necessary to seek the hostess at the end of the evening to express appreciation of the pleasure extended but at a small dance one should say a few words about the pleasure received, if possible adding a word of praise for the music, floral decorations or delicioussupper.

In the great cities it is customary for the mothers of debutante daughters to give dinners before a dance so that the young girls may be provided with a partner for the evening, including supper, and all the guests go together from the dinner to the dance.

When a young man escorts a young lady to a dance, he sees that she is directed to the room reserved for the ladies and arranges to meet her at the place of parting or some other place designated.

She enters the ball room in advance of her escort and speaks first to the hostess, unless the young man is bringing the young lady who is unknown to the hostess, in which case he enters after her but speaks first to the hostess introducing the young lady.

This is only apt to occur in the case of subscription dances or where the young lady is from out of town, when the young man will have already written, asking permission to bring the young lady.

The gentleman always dances the first one with the lady he escorted or with whomhe dined. He should present other young men to her as partners and should take her out to supper. He always asks permission to present any men friends to the lady and, when that is received, he introduces him bysaying "May I present Mr. Thomas Hood?" In asking a lady to dance a gentleman says "May I have the pleasure of this dance?" but does not make the mistake of asking if she "is engaged for it." If already engaged for the dance the lady may reply " I am sorry but I am engaged for this dance"; and may convey still more regret by her manner and voice, but she may not suggest any other dance until he asks if she has any dances which are not already taken. If she refuses, not because she is engaged but because she does not wish to dance, she regrets that she is too fatigued or gives some other excuse and is not at liberty to dance this one with any other man, although she may walk or sit out the dance with someone else.

At the conclusion of a dance if a lady is not claimed by a partner for the next dance, her present partner may escort her to a chair or a group of ladies she knows, and thanking her for the pleasure of the dance, bow and leave. If he knows that she is not engaged for the following dance he may ask to present some friends and introduce a partner to her. These small courtesies add to the pleasure of the evening and many a young man's popularity has been established with a prominent hostess because of his ability to make things run smoothly, which of course is a direct aid to her.

If the young lady is to have a chaperone other than a member of her family, the escort should call first for the chaperone and then together for the young lady, and at the end of the evening the young lady is first escorted to her home and then the chaperone is escorted home. Sometimes the chaperone is invited to dine with the young lady and thus the young man need only make one call for them, but the same procedure as mentioned before is carried out in returning home. Many parents prefer to have their daughters go to and from dances in their own car, which they may send for the chaperone, and which conveys the chaperone and the young man to their respective homes at the end of the evening.

Are You Ready To Move Onto The Next Lesson? Click Here...